


what's the fun in doing what you're told

by mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen, awkwardness ensues, bill finds those nudes in the doctor's browsing history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrinneyFriday/pseuds/mygalfriday
Summary: He’d mentioned before at the Frost Fair that he was married so she supposes the curly-haired woman could be his wife but it’s hard to believe someone that gorgeous had agreed to marry the Doctor.





	what's the fun in doing what you're told

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the absolute gift that was the Twice Upon A Time novelization. If you haven’t read it yet, do yourself a favor and buy it on Amazon. And prepare yourselves for some glorious Twelve/River feels. Story title from Girls by the 1975.

_The First Doctor suddenly stopped, his hand reaching for the controls on the frame. “What’s ‘browser history’?”_

_The Doctor suddenly recalled one of River’s little habits concerning their personal communications… He grabbed the sunglasses off his other self’s face and dropped them back into his own pocket in one smooth motion. He saw Bill grinning at him and ignored her._  

* * *

 For a Time Lord, the Doctor is rubbish at being on time. Bill drops her backpack by the door and frowns at the empty office. All that prattle about not being late for her lessons and he doesn’t even bother to stick to his own rules. She glances out into the corridor, biting her lip. She could leave but she has a feeling the minute she walks out, he’ll text her a whole paragraph scolding her for not showing up – complete with those nonsensical emojis he’s just discovered.

With a sigh, Bill abandons her post by the door and trudges into the Doctor’s office. At least she won’t die of boredom while she waits. The Doctor certainly has his faults but his office is wicked entertaining. She roams the perimeter of the room idly, running her fingertips across the TARDIS humming away in the corner when she passes by.

The ship tickles at her fingers in greeting and Bill smiles. “Flirt,” she murmurs.

Turning away, she finds herself staring at the Doctor’s desk. Picturing his face when he finally wanders in and discovers her sitting in his chair with her feet up, Bill nods once decisively and strides across the room. Sinking into the Doctor’s chair, she wiggles a bit to get comfortable and grins.

“This’ll teach him to be late again, won’t it, ladies?” She spares a glance at the two picture frames the Doctor keeps in place of pride on his desk. A young girl with short dark hair and an older woman with curly hair and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She has no idea who they are and hasn’t yet gathered the right amount of courage to ask the Doctor.

She does have her theories, however. For all his aloofness, the Doctor is oddly paternal so the younger one might be a daughter? Granddaughter? And he’d mentioned before at the Frost Fair that he was married so she supposes the curly-haired woman could be his wife but it’s hard to believe someone that gorgeous had agreed to marry the Doctor. Bill rests her chin in her open palm and studies the picture with interest.

“What do you think?” She questions the blonde. “Should I ask him?” The mysterious curly-haired vixen doesn’t reply but Bill has a feeling that if she could speak, she’d be all for it. “Well that’s easy for you to say. He’s hardly going to be cross with you, is he?”

Shaking her head at herself, Bill turns away from the picture before she starts talking to it all the time like the Doctor does. He thinks she hasn’t noticed but sometimes, she walks into his office just in time to see him glance fondly at the picture frame and mutter what sounds suspiciously like _yes dear_ under his breath.

As much as Bill admires the Doctor, she hardly wants to go as mad as he is. She studiously ignores the picture frames and distracts herself by rummaging through the Doctor’s desk drawers. He’ll be absolutely beside himself if he walks in and finds her snooping but it’ll be his own fault, won’t it? Should’ve turned up on time.

In the top drawer, she finds nothing but the typical boring professor fare – files and lesson plans, pens and multicolored paperclips. The second drawer contains a few stray guitar picks and a worrying amount of crisps. Really, for a man with two hearts and such high blood pressure, he should watch his salt intake a bit more. Bill grabs a bag of Frazzles and shuts the drawer, helping herself to a handful as she pulls open the last drawer at the bottom.

She pauses mid-chew, studying the contents. There’s a bowtie on top and the particle accelerator he’d confiscated from Missy just last week. A weird, clunky wrist strap that looks like it might be a watch of some sort. A package of Red Vines. A business card from someone called Jim the Fish. When she moves all that aside, hidden beneath it is a tube of lipstick and a pair of handcuffs.

Bill raises an eyebrow. Exactly what sort of kinky stuff did the Doctor get up to when he wasn’t being a mad professor, a space granddad, and a warden to the scariest hot lady Bill had ever met? Shutting the drawer with a wrinkle of her nose, she straightens in her chair and helps herself to more crisps. Across the room, the grandfather clock ticks over another minute. Still no Doctor.

Her eyes fall on the sleek laptop sitting innocently on the Doctor’s desk and she feels a familiar, unignorable spark of curiosity. _Don’t look at my browser history_. A careful glance around the room and toward the doorway shows her that wherever the Doctor is, he’s certainly not going to turn up just yet. After that peek in his desk drawers, she isn’t quite sure she wants to know but she has questions now. And Bill has never been very good at living in ignorance.

She opens the laptop.

Beaming when she finds that it isn’t password protected – honestly, shouldn’t the Doctor be a little more tech savvy considering he’s from the future? – Bill quickly clicks on the Google Chrome icon and waits for the screen to load. When it does, she navigates to his browser history and watches as the list scrolls across the screen. She frowns at what she finds. Most of the Doctor’s activity appears to be relegated to his email account. What embarrassing thing could he possibly be doing there besides emailing his students _check the syllabus, pudding brain_ over and over again?

With a shrug, Bill clicks on the first link and waits as the Doctor’s email account pops up and shows her the last message he’d viewed. It only says _missing you xx_ but there’s an attachment. Glancing one last time toward the door and feeling a little less guilty when she finds it still entirely absent of her extremely tardy mentor, she downloads the attachment.

A picture loads and fills the screen. Bill yelps, clapping a hand over her eyes. “Oh my god,” she mutters, and peeks through her fingers. It’s a woman – a very beautiful, very naked woman with more curves than Bill can contemplate without her mouth watering. She drops her hand from her eyes and stares, slack-jawed.

As the first wave of shock and infatuation recedes, her first thought is _eww_. Her married tutor is looking at naked pictures of some bird online. Granted, she’s completely gorgeous. And _oh no_ , she did not need to know that she and the Doctor have the same taste in women. As her eyes rove over the picture once more, finally noting the wild curly hair and mischievous eyes, her next thought is _oh my god, that’s the woman in the picture!_

Bill slaps a hand over her mouth, stifling a noise of realization. So she _is_ his wife. Blinking at all the tanned skin on display; the tiny waist and the luscious curve of her hip; the frankly magnificent breasts and strong thighs, Bill shakes her head numbly. She loves her tutor like a grandfather but she has to admit, this woman is way out of his league. She’s out of everyone’s league.

“What are you doing?”

She shrieks, closing the browser and slamming the laptop shut. “I’m sorry,” she babbles, giving herself away instantly. “I didn’t mean to snoop.”

The Doctor stares at her from the other side of the desk, brow furrowed. “Snoop…?” He frowns, eyes falling to his computer and widening comically. She thinks he might actually go a bit pale. “What did you see?”

“Nothing.” She refuses to meet his eyes, cheeks burning. “Just… a picture of your wife. Without any clothes on.”

The Doctor chokes on air, a soft sound of mortification gurgling in his throat.

Bill shuts her eyes and wishes the ground would swallow her up. “I swear I didn’t mean to,” she says, grimacing. “I was just…curious.”

When the Doctor says nothing, she risks a quick peek at him. He opens and closes his mouth soundlessly. He stares down at his clenched hands, half-hidden by the sleeves of his black hoodie. There’s a faint pink flush making its way across his cheekbones and along the tips of his ears. If Bill wasn’t feeling just as horrified by the whole situation, she might have laughed.

“My…” The Doctor clears his throat awkwardly but his voice comes out no less hoarse. He wrings his hands together, apparently deciding he should explain himself. “River is…away. We’re communicating through email.”

Bill stifles a smile. Despite her lingering desire to fall into a black hole and never find her way out again, she has to admit it’s pretty adorable that her space granddad is sending his long-distance wife love letters while they’re apart. As long as she doesn’t think about the nude pictures involved. Or whether or not he’s sent any of his own.

Oh god. Definitely not going to think about that.

She stifles a whimper of dismay and quickly shoves the thought into the dark recesses of her mind, never to be brought into the light again. Forcing herself to finally really look at the Doctor, she asks, “Will I ever meet her?”

He smiles and it’s oddly pained for a man getting nudes from his super hot wife on the regular. “I hope so,” he murmurs. After another moment spent looking strangely melancholy, the Doctor blinks and clears his throat. “Right, sorry I’m late. I don’t think I can meet tonight. Rain check for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure.” Bill smirks, rising from his chair and rounding the desk. “Got plans with your computer, have you?”

The Doctor sighs and she’s delighted to see his blush only deepen. “Out with you, Ms. Potts.”

He rubs his thumb over the ring on his finger and she finally realizes it isn’t just any ring. It must be his wedding ring. Funny, she’d have thought Time Lords would be above that sort of thing. The Doctor must be a romantic. Smiling, Bill leans in and kisses his still blushing cheek. “Enjoy your evening, Doctor. Tell the Missus I said hello, yeah? And give her my number, in case she ever gets tired of you.”

Snorting under his breath, the Doctor glances fondly toward his laptop and says, “I’ll pass on the message.”

With a smile still on her face, Bill strolls out of the Doctor’s office and leaves him alone to do…whatever it is he’s going to do in there. She wrinkles her nose. Best not think about it.


End file.
